Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
