threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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