it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize