I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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