Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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