apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
