apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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