why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
where are my eyebrows?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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