ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
