let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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