No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
