ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You are the jesus of drinking
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
