grandma shit on top of the toilet
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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