I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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