omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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