im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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