thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
