apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
