Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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