K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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