it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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