Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
