This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..