are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
