If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.