he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
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I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
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He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.