Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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