I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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