i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
