Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize