Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
