that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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