guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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