youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize