So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
