Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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