Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
