I'm going to jail i love you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
