I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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