i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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