he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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