Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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