I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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