p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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