well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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