He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
