i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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