He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
