...so i touched it.
My hand turned me down
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
