he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize