Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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