Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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