Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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