Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
