So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
