Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
