i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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