I will die if light touches me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
