you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
