Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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