You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
so much tequila, so little girl.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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