fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
