Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
