I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
